Beauty from the kitchen: homemade porestrips

I'm one of those who like to experiment in the kitchen, and not only the edible kind of experiments! This week I've tested out a recipe for homemade porestrips, and if you keep on reading I'll tell you if it worked or not!

You take 2cups of water and 2 tbs xanthan-gum, and blend until smooth. Apply to the area of your face you feel need a good cleanin' with a makeup brush and put a strip of tissue paper over it. Apply some more pore cleaner over it, so it's wet all the way through. And then you let it dry, make sure its completely dry though, and trust me: It takes ages. This is how it looked:

Did I feel silly sticking homemade glue and tissues to my face? Did I save a crap ton of money? Did my boyfriend laugh when he saw me? Did he later agree to let me try it on him? Did it work?

The answer to all these questions is: yes. But, I did try it a couple of days in a row and in my humble opinion it worked best the first day. Which is why I don't recommend making a big batch like it did, but rather make the amount you need from time to time. The absolute hardest part was waiting for it to dry, it took FOREVER. Then again, I'm quite impatient. Others might not find it that difficult. I didn't think to take before and after pics, so that's a slap on the hand for me. Have a great weekend! (-:

ThursdayTunes: My favorite songs this week

Video Wednesday: My current makeup routine

Well, this is going great! For the video this week I wanted too share with you guys how I've been doing my makeup lately, and my tricks for contour and highlighting as well as my trick for cancelling out the dark circles under my eyes (which are in my case actually the blood vessels showing though the skin, but that doesn't matter. It still looks as if I've had no sleep for a week, so away they go!) Even though I obviously need to work on putting on my makeup AND being in the shot and in focus at the same time I hope you will get some helpful tips from this video! (-: Here's the video, enjoy! (-:

Tasty Tuesday: Chewy chocolate chip oreo cookies (with nuts!!)

For the love of all that is holy, y'all need to try these! I was feeling a bit peckish, in the mood for something sweet, luckily my kitchen was stocked with everything I needed to bake the best cookies I have ever eaten, like ever.

You'll need (for 60-70 cookies, depending on the size):
250g butter
450g sugar
2 tbs golden syrup
500g flour (I used half wholewheat and half plain white flour)
1 ts baking powder
1/5 ts salt
200g chocolate
1 pk oreos
30g nuts (I used peanuts, cashews, pistachios and almonds)

-Start by adding butter, sugar and syrup into your mixing bowl and whack it until it's white and fluffy. Add the eggs one by one, stirring after each one. Add the rest of your ingredients and divide into four. Put each part on some wrapping plastic and roll until it looks something like this:

Put the rolls in the fridge for a couple of hours (I had them in the for 4) while you take a nap or troll the internet or, and this is what I did, clean the house.

When you can't wait any longer to cook these bad boys, take them out and remove the plastic. Cut the roll into your desired size and place them on baking trays, mine looked like this:

Cook in the middle of the oven at 175 degrees C for 8-10 minutes depending on size and oven. Enjoy! (-:

Confessions pt. 11

I've been feeling so good lately. I suspect it has got something to do with finally opening about what is going on with my anxiety rather than just saying that I struggle with it sometimes. I've started to put what I'm feeling into words, and though sharing also gives me some anxiety, it's nowhere near the frustration of having noone understand what I am actually going through. I feel like I can take on the world right now, not just dream about it. and it feels damn good!

I feel lonely. I have my family, my boyfriend and a handful of good friends who give me the time I need by myself in times when my anxiety is bad, but who still welcomes me back with open arms when I am good and ready. What I'm missing is someone who understands what anxiety feels like, someone who knows what I'm talking about and has felt the same things I do.

I was once told that people who suffer from anxiety are more selfish than others, and I refuse to accept that, which is why I tend to go in the opposite direction. I try as best I can not to bother others with my anxiety, and I'm petrified that someone might think of me as needy or someone who only complains. Instead I tend to put others needs ahead of mine, and I drop everything I'm doing should one of my friends need my help with something. I spend so much time worrying what others might think of me, and I keep wishing that I didn't care, but I do. I care a lot.

 

red lipstick takes the focus away from the dark circles under my eyes and the spots on my everywhere, right?

Anxiety and exercise

I'm sure a lot of people consider me lazy, myself included. I find hard exercise hard to do, and right now I'm going to tell you why. I don't say I get panic attacks, even though that is technically what I am having, because I don't "panic". There is usually no crying, hyperventilating or other typical signs of a panic going on.

During an anxiety attack I tend to faint. Like, full on faceplant on the floor with my eyes rolling to the back of my head. This has happened once during exercise, and now I get anxiety worrying about if it will happen again. Which usually causes me to get very dizzy and feel uncomfortable during hard exercise.

Other times the anxiety attack might cause me to get cotton mouth. My tongue feels dry and double the size, my throat closes and feels like I ate an entire beach and I feel really uncomfortable. Anxiety is different for everybody, and not knowing when I'll get anxiety next or how it will play out is causing me a lot of stress, and I tend to take the easy way out and avoid situations that might trigger my anxiety. I find it sad, because exercise is important, and I will regret it when I get older if I don't take care of my body while I still can.

What I can do is yoga, and I try to do it as often as possible, I also have got some exercise equipment at home, and I've recently started going for a slow jog in the mornings (my trick againt the cottonmouth situation is chugging a pound or so of water before leaving the house, chewinggum and those chewing mints against cottonmouth you can by at your local pharmacy). I take it slow, and I should I feel uncomfortable I immediately stop jogging, and start walking instead. Overall, I'm sure it won't trigger a massive weight loss, but I don't need it to either. I'll do what I can, within my comfort zone, and with time that line will stretch and I'll (hopefully) be comfortable doing more. Have a great night, anxiety or not. Thank you for reading (-:

Thursday Tunes: My favorite songs this week!

Video Wednesday

HAH, so let's pretend for a split second that I'll be keeping up with a schedule that says I'll upload one video a week to youtube. ANYWAYS, this is how I currently clean my makeup brushes, I usually use babyshampoo, but as I don't actually have a baby I forgot to repurchase that when I used the last of the bottle. But any mild soap will do the trick. I did order a shampoo made specially for my brushes, so I'll let y'all know how I get on with that! (-: Have a fantastic day!

Tasty Tuesday: My favorite porrigde

I remember eating this a lot as a child, and would be willing to put money on the fact that my mother used to make this for us while we were growing up. She, on the other hand swear she never made this for us, so I guess I must have gotten the taste for it somewhere else. Either way, it's tasty as F! The dish I'm referring to is "Fløyelsgrøt" or "Smørgrøt" which translates to "Velvetporrigde" or "Butterporrigde". Since leaving home I've made this dish on numerous occations, you don't need a lot of ingredients. Granted, this is not the most balanced of meals, but it is excellent as a comfort food, and we all need some of that love in a bowl once in a while.

The great this about this porridge is that all the ingredients are replaceable, which means it does suit quite a lot of eating philosophies.

Ground recipe:
Serves 2.

1/2 l milk
1 dl flour (I'ce used carob gum several times, 2 tbs is more than plenty for my taste)
25g butter (can be halved or skipped, but it does give the porrigde a nice taste)
1/5 ts salt.

Pour milk and flour in a pan and heat while whisking until smooth. Heat until wanted consistency (about 5 min). Stir in the butter and salt to taste. Serve with sugar (or sweetener) and a crapload of cinnamon. Enjoy (-:

Confessions pt. 11

- I've gotten really back into makeup recently and spend most of my free time (and also some studytime) stalking people who do makeup on instagram and youtube, whilst dreaming of being able to do what they do. My latest attemt was a failed smokey eye, practice makes perfect I guess!

-.. and for that reason I went online windowshopping last night, wound up ordering quite a lot from a norwegian brand called makeup-mekka, link to their store is in the name. My boyfriend paid for it, said it was part of my birthday present. My god, I love him! He is very, very good to me

- I ate my weight (and then some) in candy, cakes, batter, etc this week. You name it, I probably ate it.. I mean, if walls could talk, my kitchen walls would have quite the amount of nastyness to tell me about my foodbehavior this past week, I'm not joking when I say I'm afraid to go near my scales. This week will be all about jogging and kale and salads and detox and superfood and god knows what.

- My boyfriend put me on a cola zero detox this weekend, after going through 10 (!!!) large bottles of the stuff in the time span of a week he actually refused to buy me more whilst he was at the store shopping for groceries. Probably not a bad idea, it's incredibly addictive! So back to water for this one, until the next time I go on a proper cola zero bender.

- I feel like these confessions keep getting more and more boring. I'm really sorry I'm not that much of a trainwreck to be able to tell you juicy stories from the weekend. Well, I could, but they would all be lies. Because we all know that I'm in bed by ten on saturdays, and the evening is spent knitting or stalking strangers on social media. Sorry, not sorry.

Windowshopping online

I feel like I might be the only one doing this, and I don't care because I god damn love it! What I'm talking about is, of course, window shopping online. I tend to just happen to be on all my favorite shops online, where I just happen to be adding EVERYTHING to my virtual shopping basket. Just for the hell of it, just to see exactly HOW poor I would have become if I were to actually buy everything I think I need at that exact moment.

I hardly ever buy anything , but if I do, my approach is this: after adding the entire store to my virtual shopping basket, usually adding up to a sickening amount of money (that I usually don't have) I set an amount for myself which I can buy makeup / clothes/ whatever it is I think I'm in desperate need of. And then I remove items until I hit my limit. It's an idiotic way of doing my shopping, but I can't help myself. I'm an impulse little creature.

Y'all need to see my face more

Thursday tunes!

Ok, so thursday and tunes don't really go together, but with a tiny amount of imagination we''l get there! The following is a list of songs I've been obsessed with this past week. If you want to, you can check out my spotify playlist for April, which is in the sidebar of this blog, or you can check it out in spotify -->HERE<--. If you want to, you can also follow me on spotify to find all my dirty little music secrets, I follow EVERYONE there, it's a fun way to find new music! You can find me by searching for my name which is "Cecilie Othilie Mikalsen" or by searching for my username which is "CecilieM91" (-:

Floral

Tasty Tuesday: Honni-corn cake!

I made this for my birthday on friday, and OH MY, it was so tasty! It's very filling, so a small piece goes a long way! It's a marengue layer with the cereal "honni korn" on top and bottom, and inside the cake is one layer of chocolate cream and one layer of plain ole' whipped cream.

You'll need:

Marengue
- 3 egg whites
- 2 dl sugar
- 3 dl Honnikorn (rice crispies and other cereals of that type will do just fine)

Whip the eggwhites foamy. Add the sugar in small amounts and whip every time you've added some. Mix in the honni korn and put the mixture on a baking tray (about 25x30cm). Bake at the bottom shelf of  the oven at 150 degrees C for an hour. As this is both the bottom and the top layer you will have to cut the marengue in to two, after having done this all of one times I highly reccomend you do it as soon as it is out of the oven. Allow to cool.

Chocolate cream
- 3 egg yolkes
- 3/4 dl sugar
-3/4 dl cream
- 50g butter
- 100g dark chocolate (save 3 squares for decoration on top)

Heat egg yolkes, sugar and cream while stirring, don't allow it to boil. When it's a thick cream take it off the heat and add the butter and the chocolate. Allow to cool while you make whipped cream.

Whipped cream filling
- 3 dl cream
- sugar to taste

Put the bottom layer on a tray/plate/whatever. Spread the cold chocolate cream over it in a thick layer. Spread the whipped cream over the chocolate cream and place the top layer gently on top. Melt the remaining chocolate and decorate on top. (I put it in one of those small plastic bags which I put in a bowl with hot water, cut a hole in the corner of the bag and used that to decorate). Serve right away, Enjoy! (-:

Confessions pt. 10

- I truly believe in the kindness of others. I love the idea of everyone helping each other out. Lost your purse? No problem! Here comes a stranger in shining armour to your rescue running down the street just to return what is rightfully yours. Now, I do realize that not everybody has got everyone's best interest at heart, but I still love the idea of it. And I'm holding on to that with everything I've got.

- I'm lazy. There, I said it. I should be exercising and making all my meals from scratch and have a daily diet consisting of healthier options than cola zero and toasts. Instead I binge on netflix and ice-cream. And the before mentioned  cola zero and toast.

- I'm also excellent at procrastination! I couldn't even begin to tell you about the amount of time I've spent practising my make-up skills instead of what I should be doing, which is mostly schoolwork and household chores. Oh, and the paint job my hallway is in desperate need of. I've been blaiming that on the dog, all though me all know he's not going to be climbing the walls any time soon...

- I feel like I've been finding my way back to.. well, myself, this past year or so. After my friend, Lasse, passed away in 2007 I've just been letting myself go. I stopped doing the things I loved doing (you know, photography, singing, painting/drawing and so on and so forth). It feels good, and I'm loving every minute of it.

31.3.15

Confessions pt 9.

Bless me father for I have sinned, it's been too long since my last confession, and since I last wrote something on this blog. #bloggeroftheyear

• My anxiety has been really bad lately, I've been having these small panic attacks several times a day most days for the past month or so. Not to a point of completely breaking down in the ugliest ugly-cry known to man, but more of a discomfort that gives me a belly-ache and a head-ache from over thinking everything. It's like this rock in your gut that never goes away, so you're lugging around this big clump of bottled-in emotions that you have no way of getting out. I get so self-conscious and for that reason I need a pause from all things blog once in a while. My anxiety is by no means better, but I feel like I have control of the situation at this point. 

• I deleted the 15Things_ instagram account. I was putting so much pressure on myself feeling like I needed to post daily lists, and that I needed to make everything perfect. It was exhausting, and I wasn't enjoying it anymore. I strive for perfection doing projects like that, and, shocker, I'm not perfect. I was also getting a solid amount of followers, which terrified me. so there's that.

•  Even if I feel like I absolutely needed a pause from all things blog, I've missed it and I can't wait to put all the creative mess currently inside my head to words, and to share them with someone.

15 Things day 116| Songs by Eminem

15 Things day 115 | Songs by Kanye West

15 Things day 114| Favorite songs this February

14.02.15

15Things day 113 | Romantic movies

13.02.15

15 Things day 112 | Lovesongs

12.02.15

15 Things day 110 | Movies from the 60s

God damn it

 I wrote this post in early November, but didn't want to post it until I was out of my funk. I think now is the time to explain how I really felt.
-----
 I wasn't going to blog that much about anxiety. I wanted to make this a happy place where my anxiety isn't something that defines me. But you know what; fuck it. I'm going through shit right now and I need somewhere to vent, it's either this or alienating everyone I know with whats going on.

1. I didn't get a student loan. And I will not get one until I get up to speed with my school work (meaning I have to take at least two exams, in order to get student loans). Thing is, if I don't get a student loan, I can't afford going to school. And once again the fact that I was on sick-leave bites me in the arse. Bloody brilliant..  So I'm weighing my options, I will have to get a part time job, which is going to be a walk in the park with no education and very little work experience. I'm going to have to take up another loan to pay the bills I haven't been able to pay whilst waiting for my rejection letter. This is not helping my anxiety at all,

I took a nap to calm down, and dreamt that I would lose my house, my boyfriend and everything else and would be forced to live on the street for the rest of my life. When I woke up I wasn't as calm as I had hoped I would be. In this dream I was forced into becoming a stripper to pay the bills. That won't work for me because 1) I don't have a high enough confidence or low enough self respect for it. 2) I can't dance 3) I'm just not hot enough 4) I don't think we even have strip clubs in Norway, if so, I've never heard of one. Needless to say, stripping would be a lot easier of a career option if I lived in the states.

This is taking my focus away from school work so I can't seem to concentrate and I am falling behind, scrambling to pick up the pieces I'm exhausting myself with 15 hour days. And I'm still recovering from the last time I was sick, I can't in any way afford to go back there. There's a good chance I might go completely insane if that happens, no joke.

All of this is happening at a time when my anxiety, as I have previously told you, is acting up. I'm scared and worried all the time, and my "worst case scenario handbook" is not helping AT ALL. I worry about money, how I'm going to make it out of this pickle. I don't want my boyfriend to have to pay for everything, though I know he is happy to do so in order for me to get a good education. I will stop eating if I have to. I'll turn down the heat and only shower every other day or so.

This is making me moody, and I haven't been a good girlfriend lately. I normally cry a lot, but this is just ridiculous. I get so emotional it's not even funny.

15 Things day 110 | Movies from the 70s

Dinner on a budget

So, I've been home alone all week. My boyfriend had to travel for work, and that meant dinners for one. Now, I don't always bother to make dinner for two, so dinners for one are usually out of the question. I might have been known to force one of my friends to come join me for dinner at least once if I'm alone for a long period of time. This week however, I decided to make one big dinner on day one, and then try different variations of that meal through out the week. I got 5 meals out of this, no joke. I could have been a bit more creative the last couple of days as I ran out of both tortillas and cheese the second day due too poor planning ( I also may have snacked on the remainder of the tortillas on day two). Can't blame anyone but myself. But,hey, I was fed everyday and I'm happy about that!

This is how it went:

I used for the main dish:
600g chicken
1 can of kidney beans
1/2 red onion
1 block Halloumi
1 can Tomatoes
1 pk taco seasoning
1 pk tortillas
Cheese

Salad:
1 can sweet corn
1 bag of mixed baby leaf
1/2 red onion
1/3 cucumber
1 avocado

Day 1. My take on quesadillas

Day 2. 

Day 3. 

Day 4 and 5 were a lot like day 3 to be honest, and therefore are not pictured! (-:

15 Things day 109 | movies from the 80s

Confessions pt 8.

 Bless me father, for I have sinned. It's been a week since my last confession.

- I have exams coming up on Thursday and Friday, and like I always do in this type of situation, I feel like I haven't studied hard enough, haven't done enough practice tests, I haven't read the curriculum enough times. I usually get B's and C's and it pisses me off, because I want A's.

- Sometimes I think the word "no" is not in my vocabulary, I seem unable to say no to people. Need to work on that.

- I'm so scared of being perceived as selfish or egosentric/egotistic. I'm very torn, because I don't want to be that person that needs to have everyones consideration all the time, and I feel like my anxiety puts me in that position quite a lot.

- I'm obsessing hard over Shannon Saunders these days, so much so that I told my boyfriend the other day that if I ever were to get married someday, she's playing. I don't care how much I will have to pay, I need to have her playing at my wedding. End of discussion

- I'm going on a sunny holiday with my mum come March, and I was planning on wearing a bikini. You know, get some rays on my pale lizardlegs. This weekend I've been eating nutella straight from the jar, with a spoon. Might me going for the wetsuit look that week..

08.02.15

15 Things day 108 | Movies from the 90s

08.02.15

15Things day 107 | Movies from the 00s

I wish

Having anxiety means I always have a way out of every situation, and I have a backup plan (well, several actually). I'm excellent at backing out of situations that I don't want to be in, mostly with shit excuses that everyone can see right through. Most people don't say anything though, I'm grateful for that. My back-up plans include being a check-out girl at my local store, working in a kindergarten for the rest of my life (which I absolutely love, don't get me wrong. Nothing beats going to the bathroom while five toddlers are banging down the door and shouting your name, makes me feel like a rock star. It's just not where my passions lie.)

I wish I had the confidence needed to believe in myself, and to believe I could do anything. A lot of people my age have got big dreams, and I envy those who believes in themselves, and have the power of will. That they can do anything they want, and that they have the power to make it happen . I, for some reason, don't. I don't know when it stopped. I remember wanting to be a singer and an actress. Oh, and a comedian. Now, I've never claimed that I'm good at acting, nor that I can sing or that I'm a funny girl. I just wanted to be, and I could probably have been with practice. It's just that I'm kind of lazy, and I had other things to deal with, like anxiety and stuff.

I want to get there. I want to be able to say "I did this, I think it's freaking fabulous and I'm proud of my accomplishment" I want to have the guts to just go when I want to travel somewhere, maybe by myself, maybe with a friend or with someone I've never met. I want so bad to be like those I look up to. Who throw themselves into unknown situations without thinking twice, and that have amazing stories to tell because of it. For know I'll read their blogs, watch their youtube videos and wish I was more like them. Maybe someday I'll work up the courage to take the plunge.

15Things day 106 | Names that starts with C

07.02.15

DIY of the week: Avocado facemask

 

You'll need:

1/2 Avocado

juice from 1/4 lemon

2 tbs Aloe Vera (I usually use my plants, but we all know how awesome I am at keeping plants alive.. Storebought kind it is!)

Whack it all together. I use a hand blender, but mashing it together with a fork does the trick! As these are fresh ingredients the face mask will not keep for a long period of time. I recommend using it the day you make it, or the day after. Don't push it beyond that. Let it sit on you skin for 30 minutes while you listen to your favorite music (I recommend my playlist in the sidebar) and maybe read your favorite book. Enjoy!

15 Things day 105 | Countries I would like to visit pt. 2