Confessions pt. 11

I've been feeling so good lately. I suspect it has got something to do with finally opening about what is going on with my anxiety rather than just saying that I struggle with it sometimes. I've started to put what I'm feeling into words, and though sharing also gives me some anxiety, it's nowhere near the frustration of having noone understand what I am actually going through. I feel like I can take on the world right now, not just dream about it. and it feels damn good!

I feel lonely. I have my family, my boyfriend and a handful of good friends who give me the time I need by myself in times when my anxiety is bad, but who still welcomes me back with open arms when I am good and ready. What I'm missing is someone who understands what anxiety feels like, someone who knows what I'm talking about and has felt the same things I do.

I was once told that people who suffer from anxiety are more selfish than others, and I refuse to accept that, which is why I tend to go in the opposite direction. I try as best I can not to bother others with my anxiety, and I'm petrified that someone might think of me as needy or someone who only complains. Instead I tend to put others needs ahead of mine, and I drop everything I'm doing should one of my friends need my help with something. I spend so much time worrying what others might think of me, and I keep wishing that I didn't care, but I do. I care a lot.

 

red lipstick takes the focus away from the dark circles under my eyes and the spots on my everywhere, right?