Dear Childhood bully.
I forgive you. I've never been one to hold on to resentment and anger, but in the back of my mind I do wonder sometimes why I was the one who was targeted. Why wasn't I good enough? Looking back at those years of being bullied I feel nothing but sadness. I'm sad for you. I'm sad for whatever shitty situation you were in, to make you bully others to make yourself feel better. Maybe you weren't in a shitty situation, maybe you were just a shitty person. I'll never know.
I've met you a few times after growing up. You always smile and greet me like an old friend, you always want to talk, I never have time. Do you remember things differently than I do? Did you not know that I went home everyday to cry? I spent a lot of my childhood wondering why my hair was not the right color (I knew it wasn't, because you told me so), or why it wasn't long enough or cut the right way. I wondered why I was not pretty enough, why I was to tall or to chubby. You told me I was so bad at handball I should just quit, so I did.
I know now that I'm just the right height, and my size is completely normal. And my two different eyes are beautiful, not something I should hide. My hair can be any way I want it to be, and if anybody else has got something to say about that I flip them off (inside my head of course, not brave enough to actually do it). I'm still bad at any sport, so you were probably right about that. I'll never know if practice makes perfect, because I turned out to be a quitter. If I don't get it right the first time I never try again, but I've embraced that as part of my personality.
Dear childhood bully, you didn't break me.
onsdag 4. februar 2015
tirsdag 3. februar 2015
Recipe of the week: Chocolate cake with frosting to die for!
I'm not a fanatic when it comes to food, and if I'm going to eat cake you better believe that baby will be filled with sugar, butter and flour so white you get bloated just by looking at it!
To make this amazing cake you'll need:
Cake:
3 cups sugar
3 eggs
3 ts vanilla sugar
3 Tbs cocoa powder
4 1/2 cups plain white flour
3 ts baking powder
220 g melted butter ( I use half butter and half coconut-oil)
1 1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup pineapple juice (or orange juice!)
Frosting:
400g butter
200g milk chocolate
200g ising sugar
2 ts vanillasugar
2 eggs
Here's what you do:
- Start with the frosting! Melt the butter and add the chocolate, this needs to melt and then completely cool down. This takes quite a while (we're talking hours, like four of them).
- Now for the cake, I add everything into a mixing bowl, and let your machine do all the hard work. If you don't have a mixing machine of any kind start with all the dry ingredients and add the wet ingredients slowly while whisking.
- Cook your cake at 180 degrees C for 35 minutes and let it cool
- When the butter and chocolate for our frosting is completely cooled down, to the point where you can tip the bowl over and it stays in place, you can whisk in the rest of the ingredients.
- Frost the hell out of your cake and serve to all your friends, or eat it all by yourself!
Cake:
3 cups sugar
3 eggs
3 ts vanilla sugar
3 Tbs cocoa powder
4 1/2 cups plain white flour
3 ts baking powder
220 g melted butter ( I use half butter and half coconut-oil)
1 1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup pineapple juice (or orange juice!)
Frosting:
400g butter
200g milk chocolate
200g ising sugar
2 ts vanillasugar
2 eggs
Here's what you do:
- Start with the frosting! Melt the butter and add the chocolate, this needs to melt and then completely cool down. This takes quite a while (we're talking hours, like four of them).
- Now for the cake, I add everything into a mixing bowl, and let your machine do all the hard work. If you don't have a mixing machine of any kind start with all the dry ingredients and add the wet ingredients slowly while whisking.
- Cook your cake at 180 degrees C for 35 minutes and let it cool
- When the butter and chocolate for our frosting is completely cooled down, to the point where you can tip the bowl over and it stays in place, you can whisk in the rest of the ingredients.
- Frost the hell out of your cake and serve to all your friends, or eat it all by yourself!
mandag 2. februar 2015
Confession pt. 7
- I'm a dreamer. I spend to much time wishing and dreaming, and not enough time actually doing things to make my dreams happen.
- I don't know my limits. I'll work and do schoolwork and stretch my time to the point were I sleep for two days straight and eat an entire pizza by myself. I've been forced to get better at it, a year ago this week I had stretched myself so far I was on sick leave for a good six months, and I still get tired very easily. With that said I think I needed it, it made me realize I can't do everything at once
- I don't have a balanced diet. I'll get obsessions, where I'll mostly ONLY eat the food I'm obsessing over until I get bored and find myself a new obsession. Previous obsessions have been chicken salad, oatmeal porridge with egg and vanilla, crispbread with avocado and a green veggie-smoothie I drank everyday for an entire summer. OH, and questbars.
- I'm in many ways a hoarder. I keep things for ages, and once in a while I get the idea I should do some spring cleaning and I sell, throw or give away anything I haven't used in a year or so. Makes room for buying new and random things I don't need
- I take forever to start something (like hanging pictures, or anything for that matter, on the walls. Our living room has been done since may. Or folding socks, that happens maybe once a year) But when I start I'm amazingly effective and get things done in no time. Afterwards I always wonder why I didn't do it sooner
- I don't know my limits. I'll work and do schoolwork and stretch my time to the point were I sleep for two days straight and eat an entire pizza by myself. I've been forced to get better at it, a year ago this week I had stretched myself so far I was on sick leave for a good six months, and I still get tired very easily. With that said I think I needed it, it made me realize I can't do everything at once
- I don't have a balanced diet. I'll get obsessions, where I'll mostly ONLY eat the food I'm obsessing over until I get bored and find myself a new obsession. Previous obsessions have been chicken salad, oatmeal porridge with egg and vanilla, crispbread with avocado and a green veggie-smoothie I drank everyday for an entire summer. OH, and questbars.
- I'm in many ways a hoarder. I keep things for ages, and once in a while I get the idea I should do some spring cleaning and I sell, throw or give away anything I haven't used in a year or so. Makes room for buying new and random things I don't need
- I take forever to start something (like hanging pictures, or anything for that matter, on the walls. Our living room has been done since may. Or folding socks, that happens maybe once a year) But when I start I'm amazingly effective and get things done in no time. Afterwards I always wonder why I didn't do it sooner
søndag 1. februar 2015
February playlist
February playlist is up! You can find it in this post and in the sidebar to the right (-: Enjoy!
lørdag 31. januar 2015
.
Once a month I turn into a bitch (not saying I can't be bitchy the rest of the month, but I make more of an effort at that specific time). Premenstruella comes to visit and all of a sudden EVERYTHING is wrong. The way my boyfriend breathes on the other side of the room for instance, or how he slams the door EVER MORNING (this actually bothers me no matter what time of the month it is, but I only yell at him for it when my inner bitch arrives). The color of our toilet-seat can also be wrong as I have just decided I want it to be made of wood and, say, a dark-stained color. The house is to cold and I don't care how full our fridge is, we have NOTHING edible in our house. I'm bored with winter and want it to be summer, and maybe I'll cry a bit because I just remembered that Bambi's mom died, and that poor Dumbo... My body aches and I feel a migraine coming on, and why did I turn the heating up? I'm BOILING. I don't care if it's not spring yet, the house is in desperate need of a spring cleaning, like right now. Mid clean I give up, this is to much to do by myself. And now the house is a mess, so I'll have another good cry while I dive into a box of ice-cream and watch sad movies on Netflix.
So if you thought I was an emotional wreck before, just wait till I meet you right before Auntie-Red comes for a visit.
X Godzilla
So if you thought I was an emotional wreck before, just wait till I meet you right before Auntie-Red comes for a visit.
X Godzilla
fredag 30. januar 2015
torsdag 29. januar 2015
onsdag 28. januar 2015
Recipe of the week! Let's talk oats
I don't know how recipe-tuesdays turned in to recipe-wednesday this week, but just go with it!
This week is not as much a recipe as it is a breakfast tip. My eating is a mess, I'm not a breakfast person, and when the day starts I forget about anything remotely close to food. If I'm lucky I eat two meals a day, mostly not. I've come in to something of a routine lately of making myself oatmeal for lunch (noon-ish), I only remember because I set a reminder on my phone that says "EAT", it works for me.
A lot of people tell me they don't understand how I can eat oats everyday, because it is so boring.. I almost fell off my chair the first time I heard that. Oatmeal is so versatile and there are hundreds of different ways to make it. So here we go:
To make my oatmeal I use 1 part oats and 2 parts milk (I use 50g oats and 100g milk, keeps me full for hours!). The same applies for overnight oats, just don't boil it ;) If I want to I might add a few ingredients into the oatmeal, those are usually:
- An egg (add the egg and whisk til your arms almost fall off to keep it from separating)
- Spinach
- Dried fruits and berries ( my favorites are raisins, gojiberries and blueberries)
- Proteinpowder
- Peanutbutter
- Cocoapowder
- Nuts
- Seeds
The options are endless, all you need is a bit of imagination
I'm a big fan of toppings and as much as I love my mountain of cinnamon on top of my porridge, sometimes it's good to change your ways a bit
- frozen fruits and berries
- Chocolate
- Coconut (be it flakes or sprinkles, you choose!)
- Fresh fruits and berries
- Brown cheese (It's a norwegian cheese, and a lot of us use it on top of our porridge. Melts slightly and gives it an amazing taste. Kind of like caramel
- Caramel sauce
- Chocolate sauce
Hopefully, you got a bit of inspiration from this and if you try this, and still find oatmeal/porridge boring I give up (-:
This week is not as much a recipe as it is a breakfast tip. My eating is a mess, I'm not a breakfast person, and when the day starts I forget about anything remotely close to food. If I'm lucky I eat two meals a day, mostly not. I've come in to something of a routine lately of making myself oatmeal for lunch (noon-ish), I only remember because I set a reminder on my phone that says "EAT", it works for me.
A lot of people tell me they don't understand how I can eat oats everyday, because it is so boring.. I almost fell off my chair the first time I heard that. Oatmeal is so versatile and there are hundreds of different ways to make it. So here we go:
To make my oatmeal I use 1 part oats and 2 parts milk (I use 50g oats and 100g milk, keeps me full for hours!). The same applies for overnight oats, just don't boil it ;) If I want to I might add a few ingredients into the oatmeal, those are usually:
- An egg (add the egg and whisk til your arms almost fall off to keep it from separating)
- Spinach
- Dried fruits and berries ( my favorites are raisins, gojiberries and blueberries)
- Proteinpowder
- Peanutbutter
- Cocoapowder
- Nuts
- Seeds
The options are endless, all you need is a bit of imagination
- frozen fruits and berries
- Chocolate
- Coconut (be it flakes or sprinkles, you choose!)
- Fresh fruits and berries
- Brown cheese (It's a norwegian cheese, and a lot of us use it on top of our porridge. Melts slightly and gives it an amazing taste. Kind of like caramel
- Caramel sauce
- Chocolate sauce
Hopefully, you got a bit of inspiration from this and if you try this, and still find oatmeal/porridge boring I give up (-:
mandag 26. januar 2015
Confessions pt 6.
- I have a hard time telling twins apart. No, actually people in general who look similar. I can't tell them apart at all! From time to time you come across twins for work or in your personal life. Some of these people I've known for years now, and I still struggle when I'm supposed to be able to tell them apart.
- I'm a people pleaser. Ideally, I would be able to post three times a day on this blog, and do all the ground work myself. I would be working full days AND going to school, of course I'd be getting straight A's. I'd be able to provide for myself and possibly others. I'd be cooking all my meals from scratch and my house would be spotless. I'd work out all day and be the definition of perfect. I'm currently failing at all points, and it upsets me deeply. Working on it though, trying this new thing where I don't have to be perfect all the time.
- I'm one of those creative types who wants to do EVERYTHING. I want to take incredible photographs, sing and produce my own music and film small pieces of art that speaks to people. Instead of concentrating on dong one at a time I do them all at the same time, I half-ass it, and most of it turns in to shit for that reason. I need to learn to take my time and be patient.
- I'm currently working on three books ( a novel, a book of short stories and an untitled mess) and a manuscript intended for TV. None of which will see the light of day because 1) I'm not confident enough in my work to show anyone and 2) If I do show anyone I'm terrified of being judged based on what I've written.
- I'm a people pleaser. Ideally, I would be able to post three times a day on this blog, and do all the ground work myself. I would be working full days AND going to school, of course I'd be getting straight A's. I'd be able to provide for myself and possibly others. I'd be cooking all my meals from scratch and my house would be spotless. I'd work out all day and be the definition of perfect. I'm currently failing at all points, and it upsets me deeply. Working on it though, trying this new thing where I don't have to be perfect all the time.
- I'm one of those creative types who wants to do EVERYTHING. I want to take incredible photographs, sing and produce my own music and film small pieces of art that speaks to people. Instead of concentrating on dong one at a time I do them all at the same time, I half-ass it, and most of it turns in to shit for that reason. I need to learn to take my time and be patient.
- I'm currently working on three books ( a novel, a book of short stories and an untitled mess) and a manuscript intended for TV. None of which will see the light of day because 1) I'm not confident enough in my work to show anyone and 2) If I do show anyone I'm terrified of being judged based on what I've written.
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