Confessions pt. 11

- I've gotten really back into makeup recently and spend most of my free time (and also some studytime) stalking people who do makeup on instagram and youtube, whilst dreaming of being able to do what they do. My latest attemt was a failed smokey eye, practice makes perfect I guess!

-.. and for that reason I went online windowshopping last night, wound up ordering quite a lot from a norwegian brand called makeup-mekka, link to their store is in the name. My boyfriend paid for it, said it was part of my birthday present. My god, I love him! He is very, very good to me

- I ate my weight (and then some) in candy, cakes, batter, etc this week. You name it, I probably ate it.. I mean, if walls could talk, my kitchen walls would have quite the amount of nastyness to tell me about my foodbehavior this past week, I'm not joking when I say I'm afraid to go near my scales. This week will be all about jogging and kale and salads and detox and superfood and god knows what.

- My boyfriend put me on a cola zero detox this weekend, after going through 10 (!!!) large bottles of the stuff in the time span of a week he actually refused to buy me more whilst he was at the store shopping for groceries. Probably not a bad idea, it's incredibly addictive! So back to water for this one, until the next time I go on a proper cola zero bender.

- I feel like these confessions keep getting more and more boring. I'm really sorry I'm not that much of a trainwreck to be able to tell you juicy stories from the weekend. Well, I could, but they would all be lies. Because we all know that I'm in bed by ten on saturdays, and the evening is spent knitting or stalking strangers on social media. Sorry, not sorry.

Confessions pt. 10

- I truly believe in the kindness of others. I love the idea of everyone helping each other out. Lost your purse? No problem! Here comes a stranger in shining armour to your rescue running down the street just to return what is rightfully yours. Now, I do realize that not everybody has got everyone's best interest at heart, but I still love the idea of it. And I'm holding on to that with everything I've got.

- I'm lazy. There, I said it. I should be exercising and making all my meals from scratch and have a daily diet consisting of healthier options than cola zero and toasts. Instead I binge on netflix and ice-cream. And the before mentioned  cola zero and toast.

- I'm also excellent at procrastination! I couldn't even begin to tell you about the amount of time I've spent practising my make-up skills instead of what I should be doing, which is mostly schoolwork and household chores. Oh, and the paint job my hallway is in desperate need of. I've been blaiming that on the dog, all though me all know he's not going to be climbing the walls any time soon...

- I feel like I've been finding my way back to.. well, myself, this past year or so. After my friend, Lasse, passed away in 2007 I've just been letting myself go. I stopped doing the things I loved doing (you know, photography, singing, painting/drawing and so on and so forth). It feels good, and I'm loving every minute of it.

Confessions pt 9.

Bless me father for I have sinned, it's been too long since my last confession, and since I last wrote something on this blog. #bloggeroftheyear

• My anxiety has been really bad lately, I've been having these small panic attacks several times a day most days for the past month or so. Not to a point of completely breaking down in the ugliest ugly-cry known to man, but more of a discomfort that gives me a belly-ache and a head-ache from over thinking everything. It's like this rock in your gut that never goes away, so you're lugging around this big clump of bottled-in emotions that you have no way of getting out. I get so self-conscious and for that reason I need a pause from all things blog once in a while. My anxiety is by no means better, but I feel like I have control of the situation at this point. 

• I deleted the 15Things_ instagram account. I was putting so much pressure on myself feeling like I needed to post daily lists, and that I needed to make everything perfect. It was exhausting, and I wasn't enjoying it anymore. I strive for perfection doing projects like that, and, shocker, I'm not perfect. I was also getting a solid amount of followers, which terrified me. so there's that.

•  Even if I feel like I absolutely needed a pause from all things blog, I've missed it and I can't wait to put all the creative mess currently inside my head to words, and to share them with someone.

Confessions pt 8.

 Bless me father, for I have sinned. It's been a week since my last confession.

- I have exams coming up on Thursday and Friday, and like I always do in this type of situation, I feel like I haven't studied hard enough, haven't done enough practice tests, I haven't read the curriculum enough times. I usually get B's and C's and it pisses me off, because I want A's.

- Sometimes I think the word "no" is not in my vocabulary, I seem unable to say no to people. Need to work on that.

- I'm so scared of being perceived as selfish or egosentric/egotistic. I'm very torn, because I don't want to be that person that needs to have everyones consideration all the time, and I feel like my anxiety puts me in that position quite a lot.

- I'm obsessing hard over Shannon Saunders these days, so much so that I told my boyfriend the other day that if I ever were to get married someday, she's playing. I don't care how much I will have to pay, I need to have her playing at my wedding. End of discussion

- I'm going on a sunny holiday with my mum come March, and I was planning on wearing a bikini. You know, get some rays on my pale lizardlegs. This weekend I've been eating nutella straight from the jar, with a spoon. Might me going for the wetsuit look that week..

Confession pt. 7

- I'm a dreamer. I spend to much time wishing and dreaming, and not enough time actually doing things to make my dreams happen.

- I don't know my limits. I'll work and do schoolwork and stretch my time to the point were I sleep for two days straight and eat an entire pizza by myself. I've been forced to get better at it, a year ago this week I had stretched myself so far I was on sick leave for a good six months, and I still get tired very easily. With that said I think I needed it, it made me realize I can't do everything at once

- I don't have a balanced diet. I'll get obsessions, where I'll mostly ONLY eat the food I'm obsessing over until I get bored and find myself a new obsession. Previous obsessions have been chicken salad, oatmeal porridge with egg and vanilla, crispbread with avocado and a green veggie-smoothie I drank everyday for an entire summer. OH, and questbars.

- I'm in many ways a hoarder. I keep things for ages, and once in a while I get the idea I should do some spring cleaning and I sell, throw or give away anything I haven't used in a year or so. Makes room for buying new and random things I don't need

- I take forever to start something (like hanging pictures, or anything for that matter, on the walls. Our living room has been done since may. Or folding socks, that happens maybe once a year) But when I start I'm amazingly effective and get things done in no time. Afterwards I always wonder why I didn't do it sooner

Confessions pt 6.

- I have a hard time telling twins apart. No, actually people in general who look similar. I can't tell them apart at all! From time to time you come across twins for work or in your personal life. Some of these people I've known for years now, and I still struggle when I'm supposed to be able to tell them apart.

- I'm a people pleaser. Ideally, I would be able to post three times a day on this blog, and do all the ground work myself. I would be working full days AND going to school, of course I'd be getting straight A's. I'd be able to provide for myself and possibly others. I'd be cooking all my meals from scratch and my house would be spotless. I'd work out all day and be the definition of perfect. I'm currently failing at all points, and it upsets me deeply. Working on it though, trying this new thing where I don't have to be perfect all the time.

- I'm one of those creative types who wants to do EVERYTHING. I want to take incredible photographs, sing and produce my own music and film small pieces of art that speaks to people. Instead of concentrating on dong one at a time I do them all at the same time, I half-ass it, and most of it turns in to shit for that reason. I need to learn to take my time and be patient.

- I'm currently working on three books ( a novel, a book of short stories and an untitled mess) and a manuscript intended for TV. None of which will see the light of day because 1) I'm not confident enough in my work to show anyone and 2) If I do show anyone I'm terrified of being judged based on what I've written.

Confessions pt 5

- I give up way to easily

- I cling to the thought of moving to London some day, I want it so bad. From time to time I try to convince my boyfriend we should move, so far he's not budging :(

- I'm a big crybaby. I cry when I'm happy, when I'm sad, confused, tired, sleepy, angry, you-name-it. Luckily for me it's healthy to have a good cry now and again.

- I wish I liked coffee, I've tried liking it, and for a while I even pretended to like it. I've realised it's not going to happen any time soon, but I'll keep trying from time to time!

- I'm addicted to scented candles, I love them and have at least one in every room! The only thing bothering me are those "vanilla" scented ones, I can't stand that smell!

- I've never really been a soda/fizzy drinks kind of girl. I'll drink it if it's been shaken, and all the bubbles are gone. But I really don't see the point, it does nothing for me or my health.

- I bruise easily ("so be careful when you handle me", I'll bet none of you got the Natasha Bedingfield reference there..) Every night I find new bruises somewhere on my body (usually legs and arms) without knowing where I got them. Works for me that I'm one of those insanely clumsy people  without control of my arms and legs.

- I've already broken my "no candy in 2015" rule twice so far, no wait, three times. Crap

- While cooking I use my entire kitchen and leave an insane amount of mess. We're talking mountains. Might have to work on that.

Confessions pt. 4

- I spend to much time wishing I was skinnier, prettier, someone else.





- I'm not a hopeless romantic. Big romantic gestures makes me uncomfortable and makes me wish the ground would just open up and swallow me whole


- I write a lot. Short stories are my thing. I never share them with anyone though, because I'm afraid. I'm afraid of someone picking my story apart and find hidden meanings that aren't there.


- Whenever I'm supposed to do something worst case scenario Andrea gets involved more often than not, that bitch ruins a lot of my plans.

-  More often than not, I'm torn between wanting to look good and not bothering to make an effort. If I could wake up looking like a supermodel, that would be nice. Or if Kim Kardashian doesn't need her beauty crew anymore, I'll be more than happy to have them coming to my house every morning.
 

Confessions pt 3

Most of the time I have no idea where my phone is, or if it's even charged.

I'm rubbish at texting back. I'll look at a text and make a mental note of texting back when I'm done with whatever I'm doing. By that time I've obviously forgotten.

My phone is always on silent. ALWAYS, drives people insane.

If I'm not required to leave the house I'm not getting dressed. I'll just wear my PJ's all day.

When I'm listening to music I tend to sing along in my own opera version. It's not pretty.

I don't forget. I remember every mean thing someone has ever said to or done to me. I don't hold on to it, and I always forgive, but I'll always remember.

I googled confessions to see what's happening in other peoples mind. Kinda wish I hadn't to be honest, read some weird shit tonight that I will never be able to forget..

I don't like Christmas. I find the whole holiday quite stressful and I suggest every year going on a longer vacation from say October to January. So far, no one's said yes.

Despite not liking Christmas I do enjoy carrols!

Confessions pt. 2

At the age of 13 (or maybe 12?) I was obsessed with the Olsen Twins. I had a blog of some sort about them (I can't remember for the life of me where, I have a feeling the website is closed though) I had so many pictures of them on my computer, and on the walls of my bedroom. Also, my friend and I called eachother Mary-Kate and Ashley, I think I was Ashley. Oh, the good old days!

When I find an Instagrampage I like, there's a chance I will spam them and like EVERY SINGLE picture they have ever posted. Every now and again you will find that one page where every photo speaks to you, and you LOVE (yes, capital letters are nessesary) every single one, and you just can't help yourself. You just have. to. like. all. of. them.

If I'm hungry or craving something to eat, I go on Instagram and search for pictures of this spesific craving, and I look at pictures until the craving has passed.. No joke, I once sat for an hour looking at pictures of pizza. I liked a lot of them too. But, hey! It works!

I don't drive. Nor have I got any intention of beginning in the near future. I do however need to get a  driverslicense. So I'll atleast have the possibility of getting somewhere, should I have to. But honestly, not having a license is my best excuse to stay home when there is somewhere I do not want to go. Like the doctors or anywhere I'm supposed to be mingling in the crowd.

I don't do laundry. That's saved for special occasions, like when my only options are promdress to work or a load of laundry, and even then the chances are 50/50.

 

Sometimes, when I should be doing something else. Like my schoolwork. I take photos instead, or I spend an absurd amount of time editing them to my liking. I should be so good at it, considering the amount of work I put into it. But you know, we can't all be gifted!

Confessions Pt. 1

I don't remember my first kiss

Whenever I don't want to do something, I make up excuses not to. As a child I would have to "ask my mom" before doing anything I didn't really want to, she said "no" a lot.. Didn't even know she did it, poor thing.

If I'm having a bad day and someone comes over unannounced I pretend I'm not home.

I fell off the monkeybars as a child, like a lot.

I'm extremely afraid of the dark, and wild animals, and open sea. I'm generally a scared little human being.

I hate cleaning. Sometimes I don't but say I did. Spray a little soap in the corners, no one will know.

At 23 years of age I still get celebrity crushes, and they change multiple times a day. So far this week: Niall Horan, Andy Biersack, Seth MacFarlane and Jason Segel.

When doing the dishes I sometimes let the cutlery go for another spin. I like to think of it as a roller coaster that the love, and I'm letting them go for another round, because I'm so nice like that.

Tell me your confessions, I'm dying to know! (-:

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